Great #INTP moments

On the topic of....

Hitler's Chickens

<splorpo> hitler had chickens 
<splorpo> bald ones
<splorpo> with swastikas on them
<gorble> i'm just about fed up to here with this "nazi chicken" stuff
<gorble> everyone knows chickens are all a bunch of damn commies anyway
<echo> chickens have no political ties
<gorble> it's *geese* that are the goose-stepping nazis
<splorpo> chickens have two feet right?
<splorpo> and so do nazis
<splorpo> so chickens are nazis

Chicken Construction

<splorpo> chickens are bits of chickens put together
<splorpo> into a clump
<splorpo> like a shrub

Cheese Logic

<CheesyPoofs> cheese is good
<CheesyPoofs> I mean "cheese is gouda"
<CheesyPoofs> actually that's not quite true - gouda is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> money is good
<CheesyPoofs> therefore, money is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> which is why it's so good
<sabia> okay whatever you say
<CheesyPoofs> I'm leaving out the technical details

Loving Chickens

<splorpo> i love chickens
<splorpo> and their relatives
<echo> i *love* chicken voices
<gorble> sure, you say "i love chickens" and "some of my best friends are chickens"
<gorble> but when it comes down to action, have you ever stood on the side of the chickens?
<splorpo> i don't have feet
<splorpo> sorry
<echo> peace unto the eggs
<echo> peace unto the chickens

Cloning Chickens and Chicken Governments

<splorpo> chickens aren't cloned
<splorpo> chickens are natural
<splorpo> like love
<echo> spleens are cloned
<gorble> au natural
<gorble> naked chickens were an excellent invention
<splorpo> if god had meant chickens to be cloned he would have made little cloning attachment plugs
<splorpo> god doesn't like cloning
<gorble> if god had meant chickens to be cloned, he would have created an infinite number of them so we would never have to do so
<splorpo> you mean like fill up the planet gorble
<gorble> well, not *just* the planet
<gastankin> ensnackulate the chickens
<gorble> god would obviously have to create several other chicken-based civilizations
<splorpo> so when we go to the toilet you would expect to have chickens in there with you?
<gorble> not expect, *demand*
<gorble> you would be *thankful* for the chickens
<gorble> you could use them instead of toilet paper, for instance
<gorble> a chickenocracy
<gastankin> guvmint
<gastankin> this is a STRUDEL conversation
<splorpo> i think we would all be issued with non-lethal chicken stunning mallets in order to form rafts and beds that we could utilise without offending the chicken overlords who could condemn us all to a gruesome death
<gorble> we haven't established whether or not god could clone chickens
<gorble> which brings me to my next question: can god make a chicken so big He can't clone it?

Chickens and Drug Use

<gorble> teens SNORTING chickens
<gorble> this is a PROBLEM in america
<gorble> scene: billy, only 13 years old, goes out behind the barn with his older brother, Mark
<gorble> "Hey Billy," mark says, "Wanna mainline some .. chicken?"
<Polixines> take the feathers off first
<gorble> he goes on to a hazy-career of chicken-related crimes
<splorpo> so you want people to snort *naked* chickens??
<splorpo> you are perverted

Channelling Chickens

<Eric> still talking 'bout chickens? =)
<splorpo> no, the chickens talk thru us
<splorpo> we channel chickens
<splorpo> everyone in france doesit

Chickens and Gastric Juice

<gastankin> eric: you are a gastric juice.  Take pride, and do your job with competence.
<gorble> gastric juice is much safer than chickens
<gorble> do you realize no one has ever died of an overdose of gastric juices?
<splorpo> no.. you have to strap the chickens onto the outside
<splorpo> they protect you from the grass pollen
<echo> chickens have a very high suicide rate

Chickens and War

<splorpo> chickens have been part of every war... EVERY war... not just a few
<gastankin> I have careful and painstaking documentation
<echo> and who STARTED the war?
<gastankin> the snails?
<echo> hmmm?
<echo> no
<splorpo> evil chicken overlords with large pretzel machines
<echo> very large
<splorpo> yes
<gorble> i always knew chickens were being introduced into America by a foreign powwer
<echo> and run by the rats 
<gorble> probably -- and I'm sure you all agree with me -- Saddam Hussein
<echo> now you all *know*
<splorpo> rats are like the "salamander juice extractors from the north" if you will
<echo> yes...quite
<echo> you *know*
<splorpo> their unification is the most deadly of combined forces facing man
<echo> beware..anti-chicken forces are all around us
<gastankin> I stab all your friends here but in a loving way
<splorpo> hitchcock
<splorpo> was a chicken

ICQ and Communism

<Eric> anyone willing to give an ICQ UIN?
<gastankin> ICQ killed my fish
<Belle> what is ICQ
<gastankin> it *killed* them
<gastankin> belle: ICQ is a commie plot
<gastankin> it kills defenseless pets
<splorpo> like slime moulds?
<gastankin> yes, for example.
<splorpo> no that wasn't an example
<Eric> what is a commie plot?
<gastankin> ICQ
<gastankin> ICQ = communism
<gastankin> I like cheeses and cookies and cockroach contusions.
<Belle> but what is ICQ????
<sierra> what are cockroach contusions gas?
<gastankin> *gas*?
<gastankin> gas is central to it all
<StpnWolf> contusions= Bruises
<gastankin> the gasses build up from many years of ICQ abuse, and this way they damage the cockroach organs
<gastankin> such as the pancreas
<gastankin> and spleen
<gastankin> a cockroach cannot very well digest the nutrients in its staple, marshmallow cream, if it has no 
   pancreas.  However sometimes it can form a gastric alliance with slime molds
<gastankin> I'll leave the technical details out for now.

Hockey Hosers

<gastankin> can someone explain in detail to me what is a "hockey hoser"?
<gastankin> explain then sirs
<gorble> so you have this hockey thing
<gorble> and then you, um, apply a hose-thing to it
<splorpo> has that got chicken in it?
<gastankin> explain the hose part some more? I'm a bit hazy
<splorpo> hoses are things
<splorpo> they are technical
<echo> hockney you say?
<Lars_Ulrich> i cloned hockey once
<gorble> i usually use a duck though

Fish Ressurrection

<gastankin> I think a toaster with a box of omelettes next to it is about the least communistic thing I can 
   think of -- not to mention it can be a focal point for fish-ressurection.
<gastankin> the art of fish-ressurection was rediscoverred in 1982 by Gam Frome
<gastankin> he killed himself trying to mangle the many lines of crossing things that crossed things... well, 
   it's technical (however he's not a communist)
<Zoltar> ..OK enough talk about commies and stuff..this is a Family channel...!!!! ONLY WARNING!!!!!!
<splorpo> i understand
<gastankin> (in fact he has *nothing* to do with communism)
<splorpo> communists have families
<gastankin> families which can be dipped in a batter heavily dependent on eggs, brown sugar, and orange juice.
<splorpo> nazis also have families

Bread Storage

<weevix> i made a mistake
<splorpo> me too
<splorpo> it happens
<splorpo> mistakes i mean
<splorpo> not other things
<splorpo> like fat on the inside
<splorpo> because that is against god
<weevix> i meant to say "i agree with all the watermelons that keep flying in my ear, shouting "ok, look, this 
   is a WONDERFUL country, not smelly like you.""
<splorpo> and it is WRONG
<weevix> i agree
<weevix> that's why that stuff-thing happens
<weevix> because it's WRONG
<splorpo> yeah
<weevix> i prefer stuff that's right
<splorpo> we wouldn't want that
<weevix> i also like good stuff better than bad stuff
<splorpo> if god had meant us to have wrong things he wouldn't have given us these large perspex "wrong domes" 
  to play in
<splorpo> i mean big
<splorpo> not some small thing
<weevix> i think that life is a search for plexiglass
<splorpo> does everyone here keep their bread out on a bench or do they put them away in special bread 
  compartments?
<weevix> bench? you mean "beach", don't you?
<splorpo> beach?
<splorpo> you've lost it weevix
<splorpo> beach??!
<weevix> you're telling me you don't leave it on the ground?
<weevix> yeah
<splorpo> geezus!
<weevix> you feed it to the sandpipers
<splorpo> so you put you bread on the beach?
<weevix> i think because i kept running around bumping into stuff shouting "help help i'm trapped in a 
   parenthetical clause"
<weevix> yeah
<weevix> i put it on the *beach*
<splorpo> does it like .... get pecked?!
<weevix> sometimes i put a sticker on it
<weevix> like the kind that comes on bananas at the grocery
<splorpo> "don't peck me"
<splorpo> that is against god
<splorpo> oh god
<splorpo> i made another mistake
<weevix> you did?
<splorpo> sorry
<splorpo> you should get a bread compartment weevix
<splorpo> otherwise you will get into trouble someday
<weevix> i dunno
<weevix> it's hard
<weevix> i open the bread box
<weevix> but then it's closed
<splorpo> you know that fungus grows on bread, right?
<weevix> i close it and it opens
<splorpo> well a new fungus is starting to appear that grows on people's earlobes
<splorpo> thru your ears
<splorpo> i mean that is no way to eat bread
<splorpo> bread should be a holy thing
<splorpo> i mean, hell, god gave us bread, right?
<splorpo> or am i wrong and deceived by the devils work?
<splorpo> i don't understand the sort of sub-par filth that is passed off as bread nowadays
<splorpo> they even include offal and stuff in bread now
<splorpo> i mean... that is disgusting
<splorpo> like i am talkign about our pets
<splorpo> that get put down and things
<splorpo> I think we should have a society based on bread
<splorpo> nazis like bread
<splorpo> so they must be good people
<bella> weevix - forgive my directness - but yr nick kinda reminds me of weevil - and on the subject of bread - 
   well.... you know ..... any relation???
<weevix> well i do sometimes burrow into an occasional wheat field and despoil the crops
<weevix> but that's really more a pastime than my main occupation
<weevix> which, as i mentioned before, is running around bumping into things and then going "wheep wheep", 
   turning 90 degrees, and moving until i bump into something else

Explaining Things Clearly

<gizmoguts> i have wanting to be is that the here of friends??
<Turkle> have i explained that i am a turkle?
<gizmoguts> the of is what is being here?
<Turkle> this is imPORTant
<Turkle> it's important because it's capitalized
<Turkle> sometimes people do things like  and stuff
<Turkle> but it's always a  lie
<gizmoguts> if it was being here is it here was being was?
*** gremlin has left #virtual-insanity
*** gremlin has joined #virtual-insanity
*** gremlin has left #virtual-insanity
*** gremlin has joined #virtual-insanity
<gremlin> why do u keep inviting me
<gizmoguts> why do YOU?!
<gizmoguts> keep not inviting me?
<gremlin> i'm not
<gizmoguts> i know
<gizmoguts> STOP IT
<gremlin> ?
<gremlin> wtf 
<Turkle> i think violins won't solve anything
<gizmoguts> pumpkins
<gizmoguts> are you a pumpkin?
<GrimReefr> hell no
<gizmoguts> why not?
<gizmoguts> are you a nazi?
<GrimReefr> hell no
<gizmoguts> do you like satan?
<GrimReefr> hell no
<reppopelpmip> I like cookies
<reppopelpmip> a lot
<gizmoguts> do you hate satan?
<reppopelpmip> they like me
<GrimReefr> your questions are getting very annoying
<gizmoguts> your answers are questions!
<reppopelpmip> yes
<gizmoguts> if you had more love then this wouldn't be a problem pumpkin
<Turkle> let's play a game called "boom your head explodes"
<Turkle> it's easy
<stugomzig> yeah
<stugomzig> OK
<stugomzig> good job
<gizmoguts> SHUT UP
<stugomzig> OK
<Turkle> i wish i had magic POWers
<stugomzig> I am now shutting up
* stugomzig shuts up
<gizmoguts> shut up more
<stugomzig> OK

The Magic Bag

<gizmoguts> i am wanting to rub grass on my cats
<gizmoguts> not just little grass but BIG grass
<Turkle> knockers
<Turkle> that means breasts
<gizmoguts> you are RUDE
<stugomzig> I like to play games
<stugomzig> thing swill happen
<stugomzig> SWILL I tell you, SWILL
<stugomzig> HI
<stugomzig> would you like to sample some complimentary swill?
<stugomzig> sample
<stugomzig> or should I just burn it all
<stugomzig> or can you give me a +v?
<stugomzig> plus veeee
<stugomzig> I will not stab you to death if you give me a +v
*** DraStik sets mode: +v stugomzig
<DraStik> there there
<stugomzig> wow
<Turkle> noise
<Turkle> pelase
<stugomzig> now I am important
<stugomzig> it's unbelievable how earth-shatteringly mind-stabbingly important I am, I could stab 
   myself, and nobody would try to stop me like they usually do
<stugomzig> I can throw white-out all over the grass and burn it, even though it doesn't burn, but 
   it doesn't care: it burns anyway
<Turkle> stabulous.
<stugomzig> yeah
<Turkle> you think you can shave sheep using only a pair of PLIERS.
<Turkle> but you CAN'T.
<gizmoguts> if you had cheeseburgers like i do i would like you like i do the cheeseburgers
<gizmoguts> but you don't
*** stugomzig is now known as Zagomplyjuze
<Zagomplyjuze> Mister Reefer.  Isn't it true that you don't even have a single pathetic +v to your 
   unimportant name?
<GrimReefer> <zag>Why don't you elaborate on that wonderfully insightful statement, you asshole
<Zagomplyjuze> OK
<gizmoguts> salad can be attached to your earlobes to attract small rodents and other creatures 
  while you sleep
<Zagomplyjuze> YOU are trying to STEAL my magic bag, but now you see you can't because I have a +v
<Turkle> salad
<Turkle> only vegetarians do that
<Turkle> real men kill hamsters
<Turkle> and use them instead of romaine lettuce
<Zagomplyjuze> so get your OWN damn magic bag, you, you ... GAZEBO-BASTER
<Turkle> people and stuff and small tamales killing me softly jello is always made room for
<gizmoguts> i havea horse in a capsule
<Zagomplyjuze> more like SPORKS -- and OTHER plastic utensils
<Zagomplyjuze> so eatem
<gizmoguts> NO
<gizmoguts> it is a salad press
* gizmoguts points
<gizmoguts> if we all ate large turkeys we could lay on our beds and pretend to be dooners
<gizmoguts> but we DON"T
<gizmoguts> i can't believe that 
<gizmoguts> it makes me sick in theguts
<gizmoguts> sick i tell you 
<gizmoguts> SICK
<Zagomplyjuze> So reefification, what do you have to say for yourself, now that you've been 
   utterly, utterly defeated in the most enspatulating way any spatula can imagine?
<Turkle> sleepy frog morton and things which reflect badly on the USSR
*** klick- sets mode: -v Zagomplyjuze
<Zagomplyjuze> you were so jealous you stole it
<Zagomplyjuze> but you'll never steal my magic bag
<Zagomplyjuze> MAGIC

Ancient Radiation and Spleens

<splorpo> we are all being controlled 
<splorpo> manipulated
<Rama> really? 
<splorpo> by ancient buried artifacts
<bow> buried?
<splorpo> planted by our forefathers
<splorpo> and only now emitting radiation that controls us
<bow> radiation?
<bow> ummmmm.......
<splorpo> it is beaming us all
<bow> ancient and radiation just don't seem to go hand in hand hon
<splorpo> they don't have hands
<}Orris{> yes splo, and I am under their control.  I know your name, your phone number, and I am coming to kill you ;}
<splorpo> i am not there
<splorpo> your minds have been eaten by the brain bugs
<splorpo> they are now controlling you all
<bow> yes splorpo
<splorpo> it isn't about money it is about love
<splorpo> and spleens
<splorpo> well mainly spleens
<bow> spleens?
<bow> ummmm.........brain bugs in the spleen?
<splorpo> if we all loved the trees they would love us back
<splorpo> but instead they hate us
<splorpo> and won't tell us about the artifacts that are irradiating us
<splorpo> and our pets
*** revresveal has joined #cosmos
<revresveal> spatula
<splorpo> the bugs are eating our brains
<revresveal> trees are for nazis
<splorpo> trees like the pets and the cheeseburgers
<splorpo> you stick them around the roots
<revresveal> smackum blue glue stabular gazebo I like cheese a lot
<splorpo> like GOD intended
<splorpo> or McDonalds whichever comes first
<revresveal> have a nice gunklesputum 
<hobbit> splorpo: Do u intend to say something worthwhile?
<revresveal> spiffuloidogazebo 
* revresveal detects a communist plot 
<splorpo> i have been given an IMPORTANT message 
<splorpo>  it was started by Steven Renoir in late 1996 for the purpose of loving spleens and reducing the harmful effects of artifact radiation 
*** Droid changes topic to "Love"
*** revresveal changes topic to "spatula"
*** Droid changes topic to "Love"
*** revresveal was kicked by hobbit (hobbit)
<revresveal> I'm genuinely sorry
<revresveal> please forgive me
* revresveal offers a conciliatory cheeseburger
<splorpo> but where are the spleens?
<splorpo> spleens ARE love 

McDonalds, Leeches, Silent Gonzo and God

<splorpo> my cheeseburger stocks are decreasing
<hmm> is it true that mcdonalds uses baby's blood in their ketchup ?
<splorpo> did you hear that as well?
<splorpo> i didn't
<hmm> i heard some screams in the back
<splorpo> i only heard about the substitution of apple with other vegetable products
<splorpo> but cows are feed cats and dogs from the vets
<splorpo> i mean the ones that have been put down
<splorpo> i am sure we all know that they are feed chicken manure mainly
*** katza has joined #friends
<hmm> tell us how you are in excruciating detail
<splorpo> they also feed cattle, kiln dust and newspapers
<hmm> we are discussing cheeseburgers made with grilled babies
<splorpo> well it may as well be babies
<splorpo> if we feed our children this garbage they may as well be cheeseburgers
<splorpo> i mean cockroaches are full of fat aren't they
<splorpo> and we squash them!
<hmm> but children are so fatty
<splorpo> yes.. but on the outside
<hmm> the skin is chewier though
<splorpo> cheeseburgers have fat on the inside
<splorpo> like cockroaches
<gozilakid> how about leeches?
<splorpo> oh
<splorpo> i hadn't thought about them
<splorpo> good point 
<splorpo> what do you think gonzo?
<splorpo> i don't think they count
<splorpo> God didn't mention leeches in the bible
<splorpo> did he?
<hmm> i think there was leech the son of rebohath
<hmm> but we are not talking about him 
<splorpo> i should know this 
<hmm> the lord is impatient with the forgetful
<splorpo> ok well i guess leeches are covered somewhere
<splorpo> gonzo.. do you have a thought for this question?
<splorpo> this perplexing question 
<splorpo> i am blinded by ignorance and filth!
<hmm> why is everyone eleaving ?
<splorpo> i find our children are subjected to smut and depravity
<hmm> does the word of the lord weigh heavy on their sinful sinning ears ?
<splorpo> i hope that you gonzo don't let the evil forces possess and twist the pure souls of your loved ones
<hmm> gonzo - nudie pictures are a sin against God of Zepeniah 
<splorpo> good point hmm 
<hmm> the Lord God smotes all who see smut
<splorpo> we may all enjoy the flesh of others but only when we are wed under the eyes of God with HIS permission
<splorpo> SEX OUTSIDE OF WEDLOCK IS A SIN!
<splorpo> i can't stress that enough
<splorpo> poverty is a direct result of smut
<hmm> The enjoyment of the flesh is from Satan.
<splorpo> well yes hmm 
<hmm> unless you grill the flesh - for then it becomes clean of its sinful nature 
<splorpo> indeed 


/me /me /me!

chatting on #friendly
* So I think the world would be better if we were all a pancreas
* You`re really cool, minion.
* If the two round bits don't fit into the other bits, how will we know whether we can create thermonuclear devices to taunt our enemies with?
* You`re not cool enough to have my constabulatory nozzle greeter, though!
* Not stabbing people is seriously wasting our resources.
* If the offer is sooo generous why do I have a bitter taste in my mouth??
* but first we must stabilize things
<weesiewoo> hey guys cool it with this discussion okay
<weesiewoo> okay already
<Sweetie-> no kidding im getting a headache
* If only we had some ice
* So , I think stabalization is stupid
* You`re right
* So take 2 aspirin
* If pain persists
* You`re going to get stabbed brutally over and over again, so don't take it personally
<Sweetie-> can you guys cool it
* You`re stabbing gurglyu spleen foobers smacker gazebo
* You`re jealous because you didn't have the idea, Sweetie
<Sweetie-> oh please
* If I only had a brain
* That 's what you want us to think.
* You`re not nearly as cool as we are
* Sweetie- laughs uncontrollably
* That could be dangerous if you laugh so hard you asphyxiate.
* If only other people exuded such coolness as you're not
* That 's a relative measure.
* Why do we have to act grown-up all the time
* If only the kiddies could see us now
<Sweetie-> hey stop now!
* So is your headache getting any better?
* but we just started
* You`re being a nazi
* Why is this upsetting you so??
<Sweetie-> hey fair warning stop it or ull be sorry 
*** Why is now known as Could
* If *is* knew anything, *is* would seek why and find out what it is that is is doing wrong!
*** As is now known as Now
* Now would that be a nice thing to do?
* but first you have to stop stabbing me with those nazi fries
* Could something else possibly be bothering you Sweetie?
*** So was kicked by weesiewoo
* so changes nick to splorpo
* splorpo joins #friendly
<splorpo> i can't stand those people
<splorpo> they have been bugging me all night
<Sweetie-> bunch of idiots if you tell me
<splorpo> yeah
<weesiewoo> yes
<splorpo> you know.. I often think we should wrap ourselves in cheeseburgers to protect ourselves
<weesiewoo> cheeseburgers?????
<splorpo> yeah
<splorpo> they stop a hell of a lot or radiation
<splorpo> and in this hi tech age
<splorpo> we need all the protection we can get

Brave Knights

<lancelot> i don't wet the bed anymore
<pellinore> cool
<Virginia> good, I will grant you the Tower of London to guard the bed wetters
<Arrthor> what next?
<pellinore> i think we should go and kill some saxons
<Arrthor> smashe their saxophones
<merlin> hi i am merlin
<merlin> i can do magic stuff
<merlin> but ultimately get trapped inside a tree by a younger woman
<Arrthor> like change into marlins?
* lancelot wets his pants 
*** merlin changes topic to "I dub thee .. lancelot the urinator"
<Virginia> and asks merlin to cast her into the lake
* merlin turns her into a marlin.
<Virginia> The Queen sits by the rampart window looking wistfully at the night
<Virginia> her long satin bed dress twirles in the wind
* lancelot falls down the stairs
*** merlin changes topic to "I dub thee .. lancelot the clumsy urinator"
* lancelot goes for a swim to hide the fact that he is wetting himself (again)
* Arrthor paces the hallways 

Hackers and Cheeseburger Protections

<wallflowr> hey.. what was that dcc thing just then?
<splorpo> dunno
<wallflowr> did i send you something?
<splorpo> you wanted me to have your inin file?
<wallflowr> i did?
<splorpo> well you sent it
<splorpo> are you trying to hack into my machine?
<wallflowr> i swear i didn't do that
<wallflowr> i wonder how that happened
<wallflowr> i don't even know what an inin file is
<splorpo> sorry ini
<splorpo> you know
<splorpo> you are trying to delete the ini i had
<wallflowr> or ini.. whatever.. never heard of it
<splorpo> sure sure
<wallflowr> hey
<wallflowr> everyone who joins or leaves is getting this thing from me
<wallflowr> how do i stop it???
<wallflowr> ACK!
<splorpo> well it is too late!
<splorpo> you are wrecking everyones systems!
<splorpo> quick strap cheeseburgers to yourself!
<wallflowr> there is no way to stop it?  everyone who comes or leaves the channel is getting is
<wallflowr> i don't even know how i got it
<wallflowr> LOL
<splorpo> no non no i am serious
<wallflowr> i will if you tell me how to stop the ini file
<splorpo> well it is a dysfunctional spleen type behaviour caused by over exuberant banning and torturing of pronouns
<wallflowr> ur not helping me
<splorpo> well i am 
<splorpo> YOU are the one that sent the ini file!
<wallflowr> i didn't do it.. 
<splorpo> yes
<splorpo> you
<splorpo> did
<splorpo> you get banned forever for doing that!
<splorpo> where is the love
<splorpo> ??
<splorpo> I had a brother that worked in the department of justice and love
<splorpo> <splorpo> most people don't know that there is a special branch of the justice department that deals with love
<splorpo> and they find out all sorts of stuff about this kind of "IRC" behaviour that threatens the technical things that I can't talk about now
<splorpo> .. until you get clearance of course


Hair and Sex

<GBUSH> I have beautiful long silky blond hair...with infusium 36
* aphasia goes to check the mail to appease a sulking former president...
<GBUSH> yeahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
<renster> infusium
<renster> is that like tea?
<Guesty> yeah
<Guesty> confusion
<Guesty> confusium
<renster> that would make a nice hair colour
<GBUSH> infusium is a silicate that looks shiny
<Guesty> a likely story.
<renster> why don't you polish your hair?
<Guesty> ok
<renster> car polish has silicilates in it
<Guesty> mm good
<GBUSH> it is hair polish
<renster> basically yeah
<GBUSH> I look absolutely marvelous
<renster> you do?
<GBUSH> MARRRVELOUS
<renster> how does that make you feel?
<GBUSH> sexy
<GBUSH> very sexy
<renster> ic
<Guesty> gee, that's a surprise
<renster> i was surprised as well guesty
<renster> so you polish your hair so that you can feel sexy?
<GBUSH> no, it is just a collateral feeling
<renster> ok
<GBUSH> kind of like the flush you get after...you know
<renster> going to the toilet?
<GBUSH> lol I've done it in there too!
<renster> mmhmmm
<GBUSH> Who was your favorite lover and why Renster?
<Guesty> toil-ette
<renster> who was my favourite lover....mmmmm
<GBUSH> EAU DE TOILETTE
<GBUSH> yes who and why!
<renster> "Miss Inflatocommandogirl with three warm water orifices: Version 2.6969"
<renster> you could pack her in a suitcase
<renster> mmm
<renster> she had shiny hair as well... until it fell out

Death at the Keyboard


<hmm> wow - i went out of the building and came back and i missed one line
<hmm> i could die and no one would notice
<Guesty> um
<Guesty> i would notie
<barefoot> your landlord might notice.
<Guesty> when your head swung forward and hit the keyboard
<Guesty> like feksflhfsarl sbjuhb2hbn le qk p
<barefoot> oh my god, someone's killed Guesty!
<barefoot> call 911 in Madison!
<hmm> yes - but my head might not hit RETURN
<hmm> he lived on irc and died on irc
<barefoot> if I type that, it means the cat walked on the keyboard.
<Guesty> heh heh
<barefoot> on your tombstone it'll say, "Connection reset by peer."
<hmm> heh
<hmm> i wanted mine to say "no message"
<hmm> what about you renster ?
<hmm> "what would *you* like on your tombstone ?"
<renster> mmm
<renster> blah
<Guesty> heh
<hmm> any others ?
<hmm> "heh" is good
<renster> and below in really small writing (so people have to squint and get really close) i would have "It's a type of thing, it's 
  technical - where is the love?"
<renster> then i would have "An Ode to Spleens" put onto microfiche and embedded in the rock
<renster> and large rotating and squirting penises stuck on the top
<renster> at least seven of them
<renster> i would also like butchered animals strewn about the grave
<renster> and eyesballs in springs stuck to it
<renster> and a wig
<Guesty> i'm enjoying this a lot
<renster> or a merkin
<renster> either one is fine
<renster> and also a big jack in the box that is tripped when someone comes close to squint at the writing
<renster> and i would like a cheese vendor to sit there everyday selling cheese to the people 
<barefoot> no sound effects?  no recorded maniacal laughter?  no whoopee cushion?
<renster> what?! that would be a bit .... tacky... wouldn't it
<renster> you have no taste barefoot
<barefoot> oops.... how embarrassing.
<Guesty> i think a covered pit by my tombstone would be great
<Guesty> ideally one that drops you into a fake coffin with a fake corpse inside
<renster> i would like to the cheese vendor to say "My name is MR CHeese I like to smile and poke ant's eyes out with steam trains 
  and run naked through the elderberries that grow in grandmas's flaring and pus filled nostrils"
<Guesty> ok
<Guesty> hmm
<renster> i would like him to say that over and over again
<hmm> crackers ?
<renster> until people run and scream from uncontrollable feelings of insanity that build up inside of them
<hmm> or you could get cremated
<renster> some will explode, others will spontaneously combust while the rest will hunt down wesley crusher and stab him many 
  many times
<renster> this is the kind of world i want after i have died
<Guesty> ok
<Guesty> BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
<Guesty> those are explosion sounds.
<renster> oh yes... i also want sausage dogs to wear buns ALL THE TIME
<renster> it should  made into law
<Guesty> here are some randomly selected disallowed AOL logins
<Guesty> fartman510
<Guesty> gmikeuide
<Guesty> horsecock
<Guesty> iam2busy2p
<Guesty> lorox 
<Guesty> phart
<barefoot> what's wrong with "gmikeuide"?
<Guesty> semourbutt
<hmm> what's wrong with lorox ?
<renster> ARRGGGHHH! my EYES ARE BURNING!! HIDEOUS VILE CHAPEL OF PRECIOUS MOMENTS!!!!
<Guesty>  skrumig
<Guesty> got me
<Guesty> worf8troi
<Guesty> zenphuck
<barefoot> are you gonna become an AhOL?

The noble profession of egret licking

<RuralMale> Hi there...
<licky> high
<licky> egrets
<licky> i lick egrets
<RuralMale> well some kind of hobby you have
<licky> it isn't a hobby
<licky> i do it professionally
*** Lenin has joined #postalchat
<licky> hello
<Lenin> oops
<Lenin> hi
<Lenin> I'm here now thanks
<Lenin> you're welcome
<RuralMale> didn't realize there was such a profession
<Lenin> what profession?
<licky> egret licker
<Lenin> oh
<Lenin> do you do it competitively too?
<licky> i lick them around the eyeballs
<licky> no
<licky> they like me
<licky> hoarding licks
<licky> some people try to steal them
<Lenin> steal the licks, or the egrets?
<Lenin> afk for a while
<licky> lickifivivification
<licky> you get badges
<licky> for licking
<licky> i have the "neck" badge
<licky> necks
<licky> do they have egrets in the country?
<licky> ones with necks?

Saying things

<Lenin> we were just talking about how much we like government monopolies
<licky> i wasn't
<licky> i was saying things
<licky> important things
<licky> about licking
<licky> somethings can't be licked
<licky> like very small eyeballs
<licky> and you can't lick chickens
<licky> not their eyeballs, nothin!
<licky> that makes them special
<licky> so you can't lick chickens and use them as postage stamps
<licky> because you can't lick them!
<licky> hah!
<licky> they'd just fall off the envelope!
<licky> cause they wouldn't stick!
<licky> egrets are too fat to post
<licky> i think it is the single greatest problem facing international communication today

Lenin Warez Master

<snacky> I sure do like snacks
<renster> snacks
<snacky> yes you've heard of them too?
<renster> <snacky> fat fuck
<snacky> yes renster it is true, I said that
<snacky> I think you need to lose some weight
<ReBoot2K>  [º×W§×º] To Use the Serial Number# Search, simply type !SEARCH <program name> 
<ReBoot2K>  [º×W§×º] and it will DCC you a list of any items it finds matching your search criteria
<snacky> I mean this as constructive criticism
<snacky> !search nozzles
<renster> constrictive crutchotism
<quique> !search ultraftp
<renster> I love your pretzels
<renster> please be sharing them with us
<snacky> renster, I know, but I think you should lay off my pretzels
<snacky> !search I_think_turkey_should_invade_greece_and_rule_over_them_for_centuries
<snacky> !search no_scratch_that_NATO_should_invade_greece_then_hand_them_over_to_the_turks
<quique> !search concience
<renster> try !search search
<quique> !search caramelito
<snacky> !search search
<quique> !search search for the search
<renster> !search iwanttostabyo
<snacky> !search crt
<quique> !search a life
<quique> !search must be on
<quique> does anybody know something about Coreldraw 9?
<snacky> yes
<snacky> no
<snacky> search leech
<snacky> !search leech
<mmm_777> !search snacky_is_a_poor_14_years_old_boy_who_thinks_with_his_poor_mind_that_greece_is_country_that_usa_can_treats_as_they_like_the_banch_of_NATO_killers_of_nations
<renster> !search where_is_the_love?
<snacky> !search no_I_am_15_so_I_am_really_really_old_and_wise_and_I_don't_want_the_usa_to_mistreat_greece_I_want_turkey_to_mistreat_them
<mmm_777> !search snacky_is_turkes_could_they_would_have_done_it_already_but_turkes_are_chickens_and_greeks_have_more_madness_and_more_knowledge_than_turks_that_is_why_turkey_hesitates_,_also_turkey_is_a_country_that_makes_problems_with_all_of_their_neighbours_and_if_something_starts_they_all_gonna_kick_turkey_on_da_nutz_and_erase_turks_from_the_map_4_evah_hahahah
<SCRIPTOR> !search
<mmm_777> !search snacky:_if_turkes_could_they_would_have_done_it_already_but_turkes_are_chickens_and_greeks_have_more_madness_and_more_knowledge_than_turks_that_is_why_turkey_hesitates_,_also_turkey_is_a_country_that_makes_problems_with_all_of_their_neighbours_and_if_something_starts_they_all_gonna_kick_turkey_on_da_nutz_and_erase_turks_from_the_map_4_evah_hahahah
<mmm_777> bye
*** mmm_777 has left 
snacky> I need a registered version of command.com
<snacky> someone help me crack win.exe
<snacky> my "/etc/passwd" program doesn't work right
<snacky> /bin/sh: /etc/passwd: cannot execute
<renster> !search turkey_nutz
<snacky> !8ball is liquid drano as good as they say?

More Lenin Warez Master

*** MFriedman has joined
<MFriedman> hi
<MFriedman> I am jewish
<MFriedman> therefore I am superior to you
<snacky> !search edit.com
<snacky> hi mfriedman I am in charge here
<snacky> I require you to send me warez
<snacky> oh
<snacky> in that case, you're in charge
<snacky> what do you require of me?
<MFriedman> ok, warez of what sort?
<snacky> I forgot
<MFriedman> I delegate the in-charge-ness to you though
<MFriedman> so you are in charge too
<snacky> I want a free version of netscape
<snacky> and free linux
<MFriedman> ok, just send me $50 to cover my costs
<snacky> I have absolutely no idea at all where to find them
<snacky> ok
<MFriedman> send me a check
<snacky> do you accept certified checks?
<MFriedman> yes, though I require an additional $4.50 charge on them
<snacky> tell you what I'll just give you my credit card number and you can buy $50 worth of stuff and we'll call it even
<MFriedman> and that's not including my S & H, which is another $18.95
<MFriedman> hmm, ok
<MFriedman> what's the limit on it?
<MFriedman> (just out of curiosity)
<snacky> that's a secret!
<snacky> I learned a cool way to get a higher limit
<snacky> just don't pay your balance for about 1 month a year, and they'll raise your limit after every time you do this
<MFriedman> tell you what, I'll throw in an extra special bonus as well, Mosaic
<snacky> wow I love mosaic
<MFriedman> that's the sort of guy I am
<snacky> fatty
<MFriedman> I am this nice because I am jewish you know
<snacky> yeah that's what I figured
<MFriedman> that is not fat; I am just hiding my extra-special implements

We love Milt

<otaku> interesting
<Lenin> severe thunderstorm warning, beeyatches
<Lenin> I ought to go out driving
<otaku> i know here too lenin
<Lenin> "here too"
<otaku> i'm gonna turn all my computers on and make a lightning rod
<Lenin> you smell
<Lenin> so am I
<otaku> i smell only like you
<Lenin> smell my face
<Lenin> please
<Lenin> second edition
<Lenin> inside baseball archive
<Lenin> http://www.briefing.com/intro/tour/bonds/glossary/ball1.htm
<Lenin> this you need to know
<flazisismuss> I hope all you damn easterners get killed by the weather
<Lenin> or else or elitorethethings is good it is
<Lenin> I hope you die in an earthquake
<Lenin> as long as Milton Friedman lives
<Lenin> did I explain that he's superior?
<flazisismuss> yes
<Lenin> he's jewish
<flazisismuss> I am on solid ground though
<Lenin> that explains it
<Lenin> flaz you're entirely ujewish
<Lenin> how pathetic
<Lenin> PATHETIC
<flazisismuss> "ujewish"?
<Lenin> unjewish
<flazisismuss> we already determined that I have twice the number of jewish names that you do
<flazisismuss> that makes me twice as jewish as you
<Lenin> just shows what a wannabe you are
<Lenin> do I need to remind you which one of us is in charge?
<flazisismuss> kosh, right
<Lenin> jewhoo.com still hasn't included my additions
<Lenin> did you know Dear Abby and Anne Landers are jewish?
<Lenin> real names: pauline and esther friedman
*** Bunny has joined #intp
<Bunny> hello
<Lenin> who's superior?
<Bunny> Lenin is
<Bunny> Lenin is the most superior
<Lenin> well, more so than phlazm
<Lenin> jews are superior
<Bunny> jaws or jews?
<flazisismuss> you should just shut up and marry a jewish girl
<Bunny> the shark or the people from israel
<Bunny> heeee
<Bunny> laughing and laughing
<Lenin> jews are superior
<Bunny> hmm yes
<Lenin> most of the really cool people are jewish
<Lenin> I was just saying:
<Lenin> > jewhoo.com still hasn't included my additions
<Lenin> > did you know Dear Abby and Anne Landers are jewish?
<Lenin> > real names: pauline and esther friedman
<flazisismuss> most of the good lawyers and law professors, too.
<flazisismuss> are jewish, that is
<Lenin> have you been hearing of the it is "Richard Epstein"?!
<Lenin> you moron
<flazisismuss> wtf? rephrase that sentence.
*** Bunny has left #intp
<Lenin> are you being the person who was having been hearing of person what it is he are being named the hi I am "Richard Epstein"?!
<flazisismuss> 2 of my 5 professors for 1st year main classes are jewish
<Lenin> hope that helps
<flazisismuss> I have never heard that name, I think.
<Lenin> you are a total loser, I think.
<Lenin> what about "Aaron Director"??!!?!?!?
<Lenin> he was Milton Friedman's brother-in-law
<flazisismuss> ah
<Lenin> you fucklicker
<Lenin> licker of fuck

Schooner Chickens

<sticklefits> logs of gas
<sticklefits> <Lenin> logs of gas
<sticklefits> that's a thing
<sticklefits> type of, being
*** catz^11 has joined #intp
<flazisismuss> yes renster
<flazisismuss> you're right
<flazisismuss> you're always right about gas
<flazisismuss> renster is a world-renowned expert on logs of gas
<flazisismuss> and as such, I listen to him
<flazisismuss> and I suggest the rest of you do the same!
<sticklefits> same 
<sticklefits> doing of
<sticklefits> suggestion
<sticklefits> you are like 3 pretzel
<sticklefits> s
<sticklefits> with your curvey twisty pretzel ways
<flazisismuss> yes
<flazisismuss> you have me pegged there
<flazisismuss> I also like to smear myself with salt
<sticklefits> smear
<sticklefits> that would be erotic
<flazisismuss> very much so
<flazisismuss> esp. if there's a pre-existing wounw
<flazisismuss> er, "wound"
*** missie has quit IRC (Leaving)
<sticklefits> mmhmm
<sticklefits> i love the cut of your jib
<flazisismuss> thanks.  I cut it myself, out of another jib
<flazisismuss> it's a recycled jib
<flazisismuss> but cut very well
<sticklefits> i cut mine of of chicken giblets
<sticklefits> out of
<flazisismuss> ooh, how does it smell?
<sticklefits> stretched of course
<flazisismuss> did the giblets rot at all?
<sticklefits> i smeared it with salt
<flazisismuss> in other words, was there a problem with preservation?
<sticklefits> salted sea giblets
<sticklefits> i kept the chickens attached
<flazisismuss> ah, do the birds try to eat it?
<sticklefits> so it's a living thing
<flazisismuss> a living jib.  You must be a very holy man.
<sticklefits> mmhmm
<sticklefits> not many people notice
<sticklefits> but i am
<sticklefits> deep inside
<flazisismuss> and also, are these chickens nazis or not?
<flazisismuss> inside, near the giblets, presumably
<sticklefits> just your standard "schooner chickens" (tm) size 17
<flazisismuss> 17!  my god
<flazisismuss> your wife must be a happy woman
<sticklefits> she isn't a woman
<flazisismuss> well, doubly so, then.  Or at least, with regards to the happiness
<sticklefits> vomit
<flazisismuss> I will need to purchase foodstuffs for dinner
<flazisismuss> chinese, perhaps
<sticklefits> Your Screen Name has Been Added to the ß(r)øöô¥ £• Hackers List!
<flazisismuss> ß(r)øöô¥ £•

Smelly stupid phlaz

*** flazisismuss has joined #intp
<Lenin> hi idiot
<renster> i second that
<renster> we are unified in our opinion of you
<flazisismuss> shut up
<flazisismuss> you're going to make me cry
<renster> cool
<renster> or work here is almost done
<renster> our
<flazisismuss> actually not
<flazisismuss> I finished my last final today
<flazisismuss> so I am happy
<renster> llama breath
<flazisismuss> yes
<flazisismuss> what of it
<flazisismuss> ?
<renster> i spose you failed like the llama breath that you are
<flazisismuss> no
<flazisismuss> at least I don't think so

*** flazisismuss has joined #intp
<Lenin> hi dork
<flazisismuss> hi
<flazisismuss> hi meester lenin
<flazisismuss> vladimir ilych
<Lenin> fat and ugly
<Lenin> that's your new name
<Lenin> hi, fat and ugly
<flazisismuss> quit being mean to me
<flazisismuss> you're going to make me cry
<Lenin> ok ok
*** nonpareil has joined #intp
<nonpareil> spoil me
*** nonpareil has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<flazisismuss> I think we spoiled him too much
<flazisismuss> I blame you for this Lenin
<Lenin> die
<flazisismuss> right now?
<Lenin> later I guess
<Lenin> I have ops and you don't
<Lenin> you're not going to get 'em, either
<flazisismuss> ok
<Lenin> I guess it's hopeless to ask you to lick less fuck
<flazisismuss> yes
<Lenin> I would be happy with, say, half as much fuck-licking on your part
<flazisismuss> 65% as much is as low as I am willing to go
<Lenin> myoootschual
<Lenin> you don't deserve to live
*** Surfur has joined #intp
<Surfur> good day
<lenin> hi nazi
<Surfur> hi commie
<lenin> sluck my spaghetti.
<lenin> thanks

Boda?

*** Daphne has joined #intp
<Lenin> you're in charge here
<Daphne> Why, thank you
<Daphne> Mind if I exercise dictatorial control for a sec?
*** Lenin sets mode: +o Daphne
<Daphne> What did you just do?
<Lenin> hard to tell these days
* Daphne <---knows very little about irc commands
<Lenin> the most important one for you is "/titlebar"
<kosh> heh
<Lenin> *BODA* i have seemed to have placed my self in a ban situation with #intp
<Lenin> -> *boda* I can respect that
<Lenin> *BODA* yeah..it is a weird thing
<Lenin> -> *boda* many important figures throughout history have had the same problem
<Lenin> what'd he do kosh? besides being boda?
<Daphne> Is Boda a spliced version of bando and yoda?
<Lenin> *BODA* yes my whole family has had that problem
<Avenger12> kosh just dont like him, cause hes BODA, heh
<Daphne> Sort of a very wise caulking agent?
<Lenin> I never thought to ask
<kosh> he was being an ass
<kosh> telling me to fuck myself one day, wanting to be my friend the next
<Lenin> he's *nice* to me
<Lenin> you're just not as friendly as me
<Lenin> that's why you used to live on #beginner
<Lenin> basically you should be more like me
<kosh> heh
<kosh> yes
<Lenin> I have a hard time understanding why he'd be so attracted to this channel
<Lenin> *BODA* kosh was showing strong nazi trates for baning me from #intp
<Lenin> -> *boda* I am pretty worried about us getting infiltrated by nazis
<Lenin> *BODA* yes..it is a serious matter
<Lenin> *BODA* should not be taken lightly
<Lenin> -> *boda* nazis threaten my values, no, my very way of life
<Lenin> (that means you, kosh)
<Lenin> *BODA* yes..but what can we do?
<Lenin> -> *boda* I was thinking more self-sealing nazi sleeve assemblies
<Lenin> -> *boda* with nozzle attachments
<Lenin> *BODA* that is a very brilliant idea
<flazisismuss> I for one concur
<Lenin> I contour
<Lenin> I am brilliant as hayek
<Avenger12> yes, it IS a good idea!
<flazisismuss> well it seems we are all in agreement then
<flazisismuss> and it is ever more clear BODA was a nazi
<Lenin> istr he used to get glined a lot
<flazisismuss> after all, capital letters are the unmistakable trait of facists.
<Avenger12> no no no, kosh is a nazi, BODA is just a communist
<Lenin> BODA is a monarchist
<flazisismuss> I will continue to think of kosh as a sort of well-meaning Falangist.
<Avenger12> not much difference if you ask me!
<Lenin> yes hitler used to comment that commies made excellent converts
<Lenin> I was explaining this on #superchat the other day
<Avenger12> they never understand things in there
<flazisismuss> it's because they're nazis


+l 496

<Lenin> daphne I have an important question for you
<Phearless> cool.
* Daphne prepares
<Lenin> might you know what are being these "two-handed polyrhythm" things in percussion or something?
* Phearless has never seen Daphne before
<Lenin> I have. she's in charge here
* Phearless marvels
* Phearless supplicates
* Daphne is not seen, only "perceived"
*** Lenin sets mode: -oooo Phearless Lenin kosh Avenger12
<flazisismuss> good job
<Lenin> polyrhythm? be you familiars with it are you you are you ? daphne?
<Lenin> oops
<Daphne> Polyrhythm. That would be 'multiple rhythming,' no?
<Lenin> I guess
*** SuperChat.Org sets mode: +o TheBrain
*** TheBrain sets mode: +o Lenin
<Lenin> oops
*** TheBrain has left #intp (PART)
*** Lenin sets mode: -v+v Lenin Daphne
*** Lenin sets mode: -o Lenin
<Daphne> Are you thinking of tablas or congos or any drums with multiple heads, or some sort of multi-handed thing?
* Daphne has 2309842 hands
<Lenin> I am in favor of pointy things
<Lenin> notice I didn't say "favour"
<Lenin> it doesn't appear in my /usr/dict/words
<Lenin> I must conclude it's not even a real word
<Daphne> You have been implanted
<Daphne> Would someone be so kind as to debrief me on irc commands?
<Avenger12> well, /quit is a good one
* Lenin gestures
<Phearless> yes, /eval kick * $N is a good one too
*** SuperChat.Org sets mode: +o TheBrain
*** Lenin was kicked by TheBrain (because i think favour is a real word)
*** Lenin has joined #intp
*** TheBrain sets mode: +o Lenin
*** TheBrain sets mode: +v Lenin
<Phearless> wecool
<Lenin> it snot und you knowit
*** TheBrain sets mode: +o Avenger12
*** TheBrain sets mode: +o Phearless
<Lenin> spell tells me so
* Phearless knows nothing
<Daphne> ...such that the $N string substitutes for the person's name?
<Phearless> no, you should type it exactly like that
<Lenin> those unnecessary letters are not so "english" as people want you to believe - many of them are french influence
<Lenin> "more english than english," that's my motto
<Lenin> daphne: the most important IRC commands involve the "+v" and the "+l"
<Lenin> without these, there would be virtually NO ORDER on irc
<Lenin> we wouldn't know who's important and who isn't
<Avenger12>  /quit is my favorite command!
<Lenin> +l keeps the channel from getting too full
*** Lenin sets mode: +l 496
<Lenin> 496 people would obviously be enough
<Lenin> we agree on that much
<Lenin> this number requires constant adjustment
<Avenger12> I think 495 would be better!
<Lenin> often you will find channels with no +l (limit) set. leave immediately. these people are fools!
<Lenin> avenger 496 is a perfect number
<Avenger12> oh ok
<Lenin> 495 is just another dumb number
<Avenger12> I see it now, 496 is better!
<Lenin> yup
<Lenin> I bet 495 is a deficient number
<Lenin> I dunno. somebody factor it and check

Blarg

*** Daph is now known as Daphne
<Daphne> Rowdy group
<Lenin> yup
* Daphne commits hara-kiri for the fun of it
<Lenin> are "you" on "the list"?
<Daphne> Si, senor. Que es tu problema?
<renster> nozzles
<renster> we love your nozzles
<Daphne> Thank you. I try to keep them shiny
<renster> shiny nozzles
<renster> spatula attachments
<renster> efn.org
-> *lenin* jerk
<Daphne> A sparkling finish
<Daphne> bowerbird.qut.edu.au
<Daphne> queensland?
<Lenin> groinsland
<renster> land of the queens
<Daphne> A mighty fine land
<Daphne> Seriously though...
<Lenin> the groin is a dignified region
<Lenin> which requires dignified treatment
<renster> http://www.accsdata.com/drffreeze/Dr%20Ffreeze.htm
<renster> we love you daphne
<Daphne> Including small regions, such as lichtenstein
<renster> lickmeinstein
<Lenin> rofl ren

*** Catseyes has left #intp
<Daphne> I think you upset her
<renster> yeah
<renster> not paying enough attention
<Daphne> Maybe she fell in love with you and you didn't even notice
<renster> maybe
<Lenin> daphne, you were always my favorite in Scooby Doo
<Daphne> Thank you. I did have a crush on Shaggy though
<Lenin> no you didn't
<Daphne> No?
<Lenin> you were sort of interested in whats-his-name
<Daphne> The guy with the scarf?
<Lenin> yeah
<Daphne> I hated that guy
<Lenin> bob or jim or phil
<Lenin> fred?
<Daphne> Fred
<renster> he was hot
<renster> i think it was a love triangle
<Daphne> I'm not into buff chesty guys with tight shirts and pants
<Daphne> Shaggy was oblivious. <sigh>
<renster> that counts lenin out then
<Daphne> Lenin parades around Russia, because they keep moving his coffin
<renster> http://larkin.nuclearwinter.com/cool/
<Daphne> Velma and I had a thing going but I had to break her heart
<renster> she was a slut the velma
<renster> no one trusted her
*** Lenin has quit IRC (total jerks)
<Daphne> Lenin, are you a buff chesty guy with tight shirts and pants?
<Daphne> Erp.
<Daphne> I must have offended him. He was probably in love with me
*** kosh has quit IRC (Leaving)
<renster> yeah
<renster> he was
<Daphne> Kosh too. What have I done?!
<renster> I loved how he loved you
*** kosh has joined #intp
<Daphne> When you say that you make me want to weep
*** TheBrain sets mode: +o kosh
*** TheBrain sets mode: +v kosh
<renster> i have many open sores
* Zaf is away from the keyboard... (Dead after 15 mins away.) set at: 4:03:48pm NZT
<Daphne> What are +o and +v?
<Daphne> Are they festering?
<renster> ops
<renster> voice
<renster> cockroach contusions
<flazisismuss> listen to renster on this
<Daphne> One day I'll learn the settings
<flazisismuss> a world-renowned expert he is on contusions


Billy's Man Juice

<Lenin> fuck the shit out of netscape
<renster> yeah
<renster> fuck the shit out of it
<apteryx> pump netscape full o' man juice
<Lenin> I cannut play my fucking BRE turns!
<Lenin> fuggat shit
<renster> what is BRE again?
<renster> big rude empire
<Lenin> barren realms elite
<renster> bugger rooting enemas
<apteryx> it's an acronym for "pump me full o' man juice"
*** apteryx is now known as nonpareil
*** nonpareil changes topic to 'pump me full o' man juice'
*** nonpareil is now known as apteryx
Lenin> fat
<Lenin> I approve of what you just did
<apteryx> thankyousir
<Lenin> fat
<Lenin> ass
<Lenin> btw, "btw"
<Lenin> booger cookies
<Lenin> puke is cute and snot is good
<Lenin> snot is puke and good is snot
<apteryx> how about eye-snot?
<apteryx> also, i need a classification of different types of pus
<renster> where es?
<Lenin> there's a presing need for that
<Lenin> s
<apteryx> i don't even know how to properly distinguish pus from sebum
<apteryx> i am in a state of ignorance
*** renster changes topic to ' Giving j00 MoRe SiTes To L33cH ...... ThaN yoR M0m GaVe j00 Money'
<apteryx> oh well, there goes my attempt to put words in hcc's mouth
<apteryx> (words, not man-juice)
<Lenin> just do it again
<apteryx> ok
*** apteryx is now known as nonpareil
*** nonpareil changes topic to 'PUMP ME FULL O MAN JUICE!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!'
*** nonpareil is now known as apteryx
<apteryx> that's rev 2.0
<Lenin> even better this time
<Lenin> you are so pointy!
<apteryx> tnx
* apteryx is pointy
*** phlazm has joined #intp
<renster> pump me fill of the gism o jesus
<renster> full
<apteryx> ooh, that's good
<apteryx> i will use that someday
<renster> you can use that on #youngchristians or simialr
*** nonpareil has joined #intp
*** nonpareil changes topic to 'Please do not use such language on this channel, as anyone in this channel will be subjected to it. Thanks. (nonpareil)'
<nonpareil> though I think I wouldn't mind billy's man juice quite so much
<nonpareil> if only he were old enough
<billy> howd we get on this topic?

Misc

<echo> *cockroaches and chickens* make the world go round


Mother

<renster> you
<renster> YOU
<renster> i blame YOU
* Kosh` blames him too
<Lenin> I blame your mother
<renster> i embalm my mother
<renster> and keep her in a barrel
<renster> like pickled fish


Things People Say

Guesty

<Guesty> weeeeeeeeevil
<Guesty> it's better with more e's

<Guesty> i believe six impossible things before breakfast
<Guesty> and six more before lunch
<Guesty> around dinner time i usually only believe four

<Guesty> so if you have not played thees "burger time" game
<Guesty> you will probably think "burger ingredients? falling from the ceiling? how foolish!"

<inky> it's kinda rude to say it, but they're sorta hard to annoy on #beginner because most of them are so dumb.

<guesty> two great tastes that grate testes together

<Guesty> it's fun to get a bunch of canadians together, then make fun of their health care system

hmm

<hmm> insults flying like wood-chips from a tree-thresher

<Bunny> turn into a whattttt  no way I am a certified ENFP
<hmm> You mean certifiable.

<hmm> I find the idea of oral sex quite offensive.
<hmm> I suspect no one really likes it. It's popularity is solely due to porn

<hmm> splorpo - my cursed mind has fallen prey to satan - remind me

<hmm> look - just be honest with your inner cheeseburger 

renster

<renster> no kissing, no oral sex... what do you do when you have sex... rub palms or something

<splorpo> chickens invented pluto pups

<splorpo> the word 'france' was derived from the phrase "I love chickens and all their byproducts including the melted down beaks that we use to form crude weapons"

<splorpo> it is our duty to cross chickens with cockroaches so that they will survive in some form after a nuclear war

<splorpo> i think if you don't all pay careful attention you won't notice the large super walk thru chicken displays that are popping up around the place

<splorpo> cockroaches are fat on the inside

<splorpo> if the nazis like chickens so much how come they didn't build a huge chicken empire and production line?

<splorpo> omlettes have eggs in them BTW

<splorpo> Deuteronomy 27:11 "they shall besiege you at all your gates for you have not placed the small packages filled with nonsensical beeping items that do not flash without batteries. The spleens shall stand in the corners and point at you with gourd shaped scepters of hatred!"

<renster> i saw people and they had no keyboards attached to them so we could not communicate

elsi

<elsi> if it were not for flashbacks I would have no memory at all

Bunny

<Bunny> there is no such thing as sluts, only horny women!

Hades

<Hades> what is your problem with oral?
<Hades> it rocks!
<Hades> I am just a superficial kind of guy


Comatoast

<Hades> I have an ENFP friend
<Hades> he is dominated by his gf
<comatoast> the way it SHOULD be, hades

Lenin 

<Bunny> I am very nice
<Bunny> VERY NICE
<Bunny> I am ICE
<Lenin> you are LICE

<gastankin> this conversation is for constabulatory pretzel gorgonzulation

<gastankin> stank-o-yanker pretzelbeater smurfpoppie

<gastankin> ensnackulate the chickens

<gastankin> I think we need to systematically test 4th-graders to ensure they're measuring up to the stringent standards required of a bone-marrow sandwich spread and salad and dessert topping.

<Dufsad> a pustulant degorgonzolating strudel-cockroach leechburger upon the many fun burger loving houses restaurants with free refills and no smoking.

<Dufsad> he is in fact misbehaving; he claims that thing is a porcupine when it's obviously not.

Phearless

*** Phearless is away: yes, i do this just to annoy you. everything is about you, mulder

<Phearless> oh, how about "playing the clitair"


Other people

<lucinda> actually, I used to have a beagle named Lucifer, when I was 16.


**********************

fish don't have fish fingers anymore because all the fish that had
fingers had them chopped off.. now we just get fake fish fingers and
all the fish are fingerless. Now they can't pick up the coral and
other rocks on the seafloor. That is why it is so messy down there

**********************

<StartledGnu> The almighty oracle requires you to attach cheeseburgers to your
              extremeties and hunt down string bean fungus growths on garden
              gnomes while avoiding the harmful rays emitted from the eyes of
              the barf popsicle men. This will please me.
<StartledGnu> Journey back into the forests of despair and once you have
              arrived at the small leafless tree by the patch of gourds, sit
              and dribble. Continue dribbling for one thousand and eight years
              until you have built a large dribble igloo. The dribble igloo
              must be large enough to hold one of the following:
<StartledGnu> 1.
<StartledGnu> list list list
<StartledGnu> input input input